# take it or leave it

i'm getting physically and mentally exhausted by this. i want to tell him to take it or leave it, that i want either commitment or nothing at all..but i know he can't and wont choose commitment, and i don't want to lose what little of him i have! so i guess i'll just have to keep working out to maintain what little strength i have... it's funny how the people who make you stay strong, are the same people who make you the weakest. 

you know, i told him once "it's not the fall that matters, it's how you land and who catches you" (Karpe Diem, Glasskår

so he told me he'd catch me. but then i told Astrid that "he says he'll catch me, but i don't think he realizes that he's the one who's slowly but surely (not slowly, come to think of it) pushing me over the edge". and then she replied "so...he's pushing you into his own arms?!" i hadn't thought if it that way before! 

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